Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

How long can someone with narcissistic tendencies maintain a facade of fake love before their true self is revealed? Is there a specific trigger or amount of time that causes them to reveal their true nature?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

It’s still here.

The sadness was still there.

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What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

I was tired of trying and failing.

I had run out of hope.

Hi, I’m Jo. My best friend died 2 years ago today. My husband died 6 months later. So, I’m a depressed mess (we were married 28 years) and can’t shake it. Even my Brother is worried. Some days I don’t do anything, and avoid men cause I don’t want to date. Any suggestions? Thanks for reading.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

You are like me, then.

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I was tired of fighting.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Are the seasons in Ireland different from those in Scotland, England, and Wales? Or are they just milder versions of each other?

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Why does my iPhone keep on saying I can’t upload photos to iCloud and say it doesn't have enough iCloud storage when it still has space?

And the sadness?

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Trump is shot, tackled by SS agents, yet then stands, defiant, with fist high, and 52 hours later, walks into the Republican Convention to thunderous applause. Is there anything that can stop this man, who loves his country? Does he get your vote?

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

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But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

Be who you already are.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

What is one thing you've learned from life?

It’s here now, writing to you.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.